Answer: Not much.
I’d hoped recent shake ups at Dior would lead to a stronger point of view when it came to their red carpet output, but evidently I was wrong. The Oscars is the biggest red carpet in the world, and at the 2017 Oscars Dior had three dresses out there. I can’t believe they’re happy with a one out of three batting average.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, the one is quite something. This is incredible on Kirsten Dunst. That shape! Those pockets! The fit on the bodice leaves a little to be desired, but the overall effect is wowsa.
She could so easily and obviously have played into the vintage feel with a sharp cat eye, a lined red lip, a clean wave in her hair and some literal accessories, but my Kiki has a stronger sense of style and she’s completely made this her own. She’s brought the New Look silhouette bang up to date with a mess of tousled hair and a very on-trend softly smudged eye and matte lip.
That very pretty and unusual necklace by Niwaka is the icing on the cake.
When you hit one homerun (to continue the baseball analogy, even though I know nothing abut baseball and it will go tits up very soon if I keep trying to drag it out) maybe just call it a win and leave it at that.
Don’t do this:
And definitely don’t do this:
These dresses have a big problem. Huge! And essentially they have the same problem. They’re both crap, so there’s that, but some dresses are just crap, and that’s just their journey. But these crap dresses are also big and bulky and ill-fitting, and that’s just unforgivable.
Charlize’s in particular is a mess. With a higher waist and a neater fit on the bodice it could be servicible, but the look as a whole feels very ill-conceived. My thoughts and prayers go out to her earlobes, which are really paying for that earring choice. If the earrings worked with the dress I’d maybe tell them to suck it up, but they really don’t. The whole thing is just a big question mark, and the ponytail is a double question mark with an exclamation point in the middle.
That’s regular person hair, and if we know anything about celebrities it’s that they don’t have to tolerate regular person hair, which is one of the tradeoffs I’d happily make to occupy that world, even it meant losing my privacy and my anonymity and everything else. Take it. Take it all. If I never have to have regular person hair again, it’s worth it.
I wonder if Felicity Jones has committed to the trade off yet? She has very lovely hair, but everything about this look screams regular person.
Like Charlize’s dress, it would benefit from a neater waist and a better fit on the bodice, but it also needs a discernable colour, a shape, and some indication that it was designed by someone who cared that it was going onto a human woman.
I’m not sure how the same designer can do this for one woman:
yet send another woman out in a glorified tulle potato sack, but come on, Dior.
We know you can do better.