So, Kristen Wiig rocked up to the 2017 Golden Globes sporting a brand new pixie cut and a white lace dress. I love her and I really love that haircut, but I might now remember the 2017 Golden Globes as the year Kristin Wiig tried to out-Michelle Williams Michelle Williams.
Of course, you don’t out-Michelle Williams Michelle Williams. She will see your Michelle Williams and she will raise you more Michelle Williams. She will go EXTRA.
If your crop is blonde, she will go blonder. If your white lace dress is sheer (how predictable) her’s will be lined in black (different!). If you accessorise with a bangle, she will tie a god damned velvet bow around her neck, now shut up, she wins, the end.
I take issue with the bow though. Maybe the string around the neck thing is not so ubiquitous in the US as it is here, but by my way of thinking, if I’ve seen it on every 16-year-old fashion blogger with an Instagram account and/or you can buy it in New Look for €5.99, it doesn’t belong on Michelle Williams at the Golden Globes.
On a dress v dress basis, I prefer Michelle’s. Whatever combination of nude undergarments is happening under Kristen’s, it’s not working, and it would be better if it was just lined. The neckline, the length, the bell sleeves; that chunky, guipure lace – these are all working for me, but the underwear situation is hugely distracting.
Michelle’s, on the other hand, is neatly tailored, the dark lining is refreshingly different, the A-line shape is lovely, and I’m enjoying the fact that it’s so extremely off-the-shoulder that the sleeves actually come out of the side of the bodice, and she was therefore physically restrained from raising her arms more than six inches from her body all night. It’s a high fashion straitjacket. I have a dress that restricts my arm movement and it makes me feel like I know how to suffer for fashion. High five Michelle… except, not. Maybe we’ll just exchange knowing glances instead.